vilate

I can’t believe it! 9 weeks ago when I started the c25k running program it was all I could do to make it through the 60 second jogging interval. Now I am running thirty minutes nonstop! It is such an amazing feeling to see such an improvement in such a short period of time. I always thought I couldn’t run and never would but I am doing it.  Sure I’m not fast and it’s still not easy for me but I’m not giving up and I know I will continue to improve. I love how it makes me feel. I feel strong and powerful and like I can do anything if I put my mind to it. 9 weeks ago running for 30 minutes seemed liked an unaccomplishable feat but I am here to tell you that if I can do it anyone can.

I have completed my first 30 day challenge with myself. It was so successful I am ready to bump it up a notch. Here is my second 30 day contract.

I Margaret Vilate, hereby commit the next thirty days to becoming more fit and healthy. I promise myself:

I will drink at least 64 oz water daily.

I will make healthy food choices, including lots of fruit, vegetables, whole grains and lean protein.

I will practice portion control- stop eating when full!

I will do a minimum of 30 minutes cardio exercise everyday. NO EXCUSES!

I will do minimum of 20 minutes of pilates 3 times a week.

I will not eat after 7:00 pm except for a small, healthy snack at 8:00 or 9:00 if I am truly hungry.

I will take my supplements daily.

I will limit ‘junk food’ to one special treat a week.

I will set aside 20 minutes daily for self improvement, through reading, prayer, meditation, visualization or journaling.

I realize that this contract is solely with myself and that it carries no rewards, penalties or punishments other than those associated with the reflection of the strength of my own character.

Signed:   Margaret Vilate    May 25, 2009

Made it through my first month that is. I started out halfheartedly forcing myself thorough the motions, but by the end of the first week I was feeling excited, thinking maybe the body I have always wanted is within my grasp. I stuck to everything on my contract. I have exercised for at least 30 minutes every single day, I havn’t eaten past 7:00 pm once this whole month! I have made healthier food choices and I have controlled my portions.It hasn’t always been easy but it’s paid off- I am finishing this month 16 pounds lighter! That’s not all that’s changed though, I have a whole new attitude. I feel better about myself. I know I have a ways to go yet but for the first time I beleive in myself. I know I will get there.

Yesterday I got breakfast in bed for the first time. My eight year old son had been planning it for days. It was so sweet. I heard him sneak into the bedroom at 6:00am and his daddy whispered to him that it was too early and he could go back to bed. At 7:30 he woke me up and presented me with 3 huge pancakes loaded with syrup and 2 eggs that he had made mostly by himself. It was so precious! It wasn’t the most nutritious breakfast but it was made with so much love I couldn’t possibly refuse! I figure if there’s any excuse for an unhealthy meal, breakfast in bed made by your 8 year old son must top the list. I did make sure to get my walk in later and the kids and I played at the park so I wasn’t too worried.  Sure enough this morning I weighed in and I lost 3 more pounds! This makes a total of 13 lbs in the last 3 weeks!

Today started out so beautiful! The sun was shining, the bird were singing, the air was fresh and clean and smelled the way only spring air can. I could not wait to get out for my walk. But I had 5 little kids today and it would be next to impossible to get any real exercise with 5 preschoolers tagging along. So we played outside in the sunshine while I anxiously waited until their moms got off work so I could go. Well, by the time the children were gone the unpredictable Canadian spring weather had taken a complete turnaround. It was raining, and not just a pleasant spring shower, it was coming down in sheets! By that time of course I was tired and part of me was secretly relieved that I didn’t have to go, but then I remembered my goals, and particularly the big, bold NO EXCUSES, part! A little rain wasn’t going to stop me! I waited for a lull in the rain and made a run for it. I thought I would just get my 30 minutes in and get it over with. Then, a few minutes in, the clouds parted,  the sun shone through and a beautiful rainbow appeared, set against the snow capped mountains. It was gorgeous! It stopped raining and the birds started singing again and it felt as if the earth was washed clean. I just drank it in. I couldn’t help but think that the ‘old’ me would have been home on the couch watching T.V. with a bag of potato chips and a bowl of icecream. I never would have noticed that beautiful rainbow and I would have missed that amazing moment. It reminded me of that quote by Dolly Parton- ‘If you want to see the rainbow you’ve got to put up with the rain.’ It’s going to take some time and hard work and plenty of ‘rain’. But I can see the ‘rainbow’ in the end. I will have health, energy, vitality and a whole new body. I will be living life to its fullest and, most importantly, I won’t be letting those simple, special moments pass me by.

I’ve survived 2 weeks of my 30 day challenge. It got off to a rocky start with what I call ‘withdrawal pains’ but over the last two weeks something strange has started to happen. I’m feeling something I havn’t felt in a long while- hope. When I first signed my contract to myself I thought I would have to just force myself through it but I’m starting to get excited about this losing weight thing. Maybe I can do this. Maybe the body I’ve always wanted is within my grasp. Of course I also hear this little voice in the back of my head telling me ” What makes you think you can do it this time? How is this any different then last time and the times before that? What happens when you lose this positive feeling? Do you even really deserve this?” But all I can do is take it one day at a time and today I’m feeling good. I’m going to hold onto this feeling for as long as I can and hope I can soldier through the bad days because I am not stopping till I get there! I lost 3 more lbs this week! For a total of 10 lbs- the amount I’d hoped I would lose in the whole thirty days! Thanks everyone for all the inspiration, support and encouragment.

It’s amazing how good I feel! I love feeling like this! I feel like I’ve been living under a dark cloud for a long time and now the sun is starting to shine through. Not much has changed, but everything is different. I’m still fat, I still look the same but I don’t feel disgusted and ashamed anymore. I know I am doing something about it and I feel good about myself. Just making that first big decision to actually change and then making a plan and putting it into action has made all the difference. I know there will be pitfalls along the way and not everyday will be this good but I also know that eventually I will be sucessful. Just knowing that gives me the will and motivation to carry on. I have found so much inspiration in the sucess stories of others on here and I can’t wait until I am one of them!

I survived the first week, I stuck to it, and it paid off! I lost seven pounds! Hurray! Now realistically I know that there could be many different reasons I lost so much- water weight, time of month etc.- but it sure feels good! I’ll take it! It has given me just the boost I need. I feel like I was just forcing myself through the week, not really sure how commited I was, but now that I have seem some results I am excited and ready to carry on! Of course I know that every week won’t be this good, and thats okay,I’m aiming for 2-3 pounds a week. Next week I’ll be below 200 pounds never to return again!

Today a friend invited me and a couple of girlfriends over to lunch. I was a little worried because these particular friends, although I love them dearly, aren’t the best influence when it comes to watching your weight. And I can’t blame them because I have been just as bad up till now. I am worried about sounding uppity or self righteous when I try to make healthier choices. I’m not trying to make anyone else feel bad about what they’re doing ( although I would love for all the people I love to join me in making over my life and health)  I just want to do what’s best for me.

    Anyway sure enough we get there and my friend is just mixing up a batch of cookies. Now these aren’t just any cookies. This girl makes the best chocolate chip cookies you’ll ever eat! Real butter, loads of milk chocolate chips, coconut, cooked to just the right degree of golden brown and softness. You get the picture. Even now as I write I’m practically salivating on my keyboard!:) Uhoh, I thought, I’m in trouble! Usually when she makes these I have a hard time stopping myself at 5 or 6.

  We had tacos for lunch, which were delicious. I opted for the chicken breast instead of beef and I loaded it up with lettuce, tomatoes ,avocados, olives, salsa, onions and, yes, just the teeniest dab of sour cream and sprinkle of cheese, and I wrapped it in a whole wheat wrap. I ate slowly, and, huge accomplishment, I only ate one!! 

   After lunch I talked everyone into going for a walk so we rounded up our many children and went for a delightful stroll up the mountain, enjoying the fresh air and beautiful spring sunshine.  We all came back refreshed and happy. It wasn’t a fast walk but still, it was loads better then sitting in front of the T.V. However, those cookies were still there on the counter waiting for me when we came back. I decided to let myself have one cookie. I’ve been a good girl all week and you’ve gotta allow yourself a treat now and then right?! We all sat around with a cup of tea, a game of cards, and, of course, a plate of cookies. I broke off tiny bits of my cookie in between plenty of sips of tea and I savoured every bite. I ate only one cookie in the time I normally would have four or five and I enjoyed it three times as much! I know it may sound silly but to me that is something to celebrate. In fact the whole afternoon was a series of small victories. Where I normally would have had two or three, I ate one taco. We fit some physical activity into our day, and at the end of the afternoon rather than feeling stuffed, fat guilty and bad about myself, I came away feeling refreshed because of the companionship of good friends and proud of myself for making better choices. I let friendship, not food, be the star of the day! What a breakthrough!

I woke up with a bit of a ‘hangover’ this morning from a nasty migraine last night. I ate really well and got my 30 minutes of walking in. My hubby rolled his eyes when I told him I was going and asked him to watch the kids. I felt a momentary twinge of guilt but then I decided “You know what, I deserve this, this measly little half hour is all I get all day I think I deserve it!” Then I went and enjoyed my walk. Anyway, its nearly 10:00pm and the munchies are starting to get me. This is the worst time of day for me. I’ll bet almost half of my calories are eaten after 7:00pm! It’s horrible I know! But I am trying really hard to break that habit. Actually I’ve heard that you can’t break habits, you replace them, so I’m tryng to find other things to do in the evening. Writing this blog helps! I can’t eat and type at the same time.:) Unfortunately I can eat while I read, watch T.V., talk, and just about anything else. Anyway I think I’ll go make me a cup of herbal tea and head to bed before my cravings get the better of me.:)